Home » How To Build Attraction On Your First Date With A Woman
DATING TIPS FOR MEN
So you’ve been going on dates and they’re going okay, but things seem to fizzle soon after. I’ve been there, you’ve been there and so has just about every man at some point.
More often than not, it’s because you’re being pleasant on the date but not building any attraction. You’re okay to be around but she isn’t being left wanting more of you.
Not to worry, you’ve come to the right place. I’m about to give you eight easy dating tips for men that’ll help your dating game and build more attraction on those dates.
Show up looking, smelling, and feeling great
How you look on your first date will affect how both of you feel about you. It’s not shallow, it’s basic human attraction and you’re judging her the same way when you meet.
When you look and smell great, you’ll feel so much more confident in yourself and that’ll show through. More on that in a minute.
To help you out even more, make sure you get enough sleep the night before. You’ll look brighter and more engaged, have more energy and that’s exciting to be around. With only 1 in 10 Americans listing sleep as their top priority, it’s any wonder we’re always tired!
Confidence is a major factor in dating tips for men
It doesn’t matter who you ask or what context, all humans find confidence attractive. Even in the business sense, confidence is something we’re all drawn to and respect more.
That makes it solid first date advice in general, no matter what your goal. When it comes to building attraction, the exact same things are true. When you show up looking great, being confident and assertive, you’re setting yourself up for a great date.
That means getting comfortable with accepting compliments, suggesting plans, and leading conversation. If these things don’t come naturally to you, you’re in the majority. It’s something for you to work on overtime.
The good news is, it creates a positive feedback loop. As you learn to act more confident, you’ll be more appealing to women. This in itself builds more confidence and so it continues. You just have to make a conscious effort to get started!
Keep a positive attitude
Much like confidence, positivity is another attractive trait that ensures people want to be around you. Maybe the plans for your date aren’t going as expected. Rather than complaining about the hiccups, see it as a fresh adventure. Now the two of you get to go exploring and make up a new plan on the fly.
In the same way, if the conversation starts to go down a negative tangent, acknowledge it and move on. If you spend 30 minutes talking about her bad day at work, that negative energy is what your date will be associated with.
That’s not the type of thing you want her to be thinking about when your name pops up on her phone.
Funny people are more fun to be around when it comes or dating tips for men
There’s a reason we have an entire article about the importance of humor in dating. Once again, it’s something everyone can appreciate and it keeps the night from getting boring.
Funny is fun and fun dates are something we all want more of. If you can keep things light and entertaining, you’re giving her a reason to come back. In fact, “funny” is the compliment I want to hear more than any other. It means she had a great time and she appreciates my personality as well.
If you ever find yourself struggling or feel as though the conversation is running dry, take a look at this solid list of funny and flirty questions to ask a girl and have a few up your sleeve. It’s a simple way to turn things around and get back on track if you run out of things to say.
Smile! Show her you’re having a good time too
Stereotypically, we’re brought up to cover our emotions, especially when meeting new people. When it comes to first dates though, it’s important that you’re more emotive.
This is something I was guilty of when I first started online dating. I’d go on that first date, have a great time but not let anyone know that for sure. In fact, on a couple of occasions, I told her I was having fun and got a response along the lines of “are you? I was trying to figure that out!”
Learn from my mistakes. Smile, compliment her (sparingly), and let her know that you’re happy to be there. This lets her relax and get to know you better. Attraction soon follows.
Authenticity builds comfort
Another great way of letting her in and building comfort is being authentic. It also ties into confidence since authenticity can feel like a risk with someone new. The thing is, without comfort, there can be no attraction.
I’m not talking about telling her your life story, I just mean being open about things others might not. If you’re a little nervous, tell her. Happy to be on that date with her? She wants to hear that too! Hell, it might even be that she suggests something you don’t like. It’s always better to voice that than pretend you enjoy it.
Imagine going on a date with someone and it just felt like a business interaction. No real emotions were shown. . . not exactly something you’ll be excited to do again, right?
Eye contact makes a big difference
According to Mark Manson, there are 9 different types of eye contact. Getting familiar with them will help your dating significantly. A moment of eye contact can say so much more than words ever can.
In fact, the British Psychological Society points out that “Whether or not other people make eye contact with us changes the way that we think about them and their feelings.” This absolutely extends to building attraction and is something to be more conscious of on a date.
Don’t be afraid to escalate on a first date
Saving the most obvious tip for last, physical escalation is the single strongest thing you can do to build attraction. You can’t get to this step without first building comfort, which is where the others come in.
That said, once you’ve reached that point, wait for (or create!) the right opportunity and start escalating. It can start as simple as a brief touch on the forearm as you chat or a hand on her shoulder as you walk by to go get something.
These slight signals are far stronger than you might think and make your intentions clear. This immediately pushes her thoughts down the same path. Assuming she’s just as into you, the levels of attraction take a big step in the right direction.
Yes, it can be intimidating sometimes but guess what. If you don’t escalate, you’re probably going to miss out.
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