Home » Have you Been Naughty? A Beginners Guide to Spanking Sex
There’s something intrinsically alluring about the saying “it hurts so good”. As living beings, we usually trust our instincts to avoid the things in life that bring us pain.
But sometimes, just sometimes, there are instances brought about within our lives of which pain becomes a desire, a wish to feel the hurt so as to enhance sensation and feel undoubtedly alive.
You don’t need to be a BDSM connoisseur or a total masochist to incorporate a touch of ironically pleasurable pain within your sexual love life.
However, you will never know the benefits of this style of erotic pain infliction until you begin to try, and it might be the secret ingredient to wild, rough, and fulfilling sex that you’ve been waiting for.
Spanking sex is the perfect introduction to this light style of BDSM that any couple can effortlessly try. But with inexperience and multitudes of spanking sex toys to go along, you might feel a touch of intimidation surrounding the execution of this idea. And we are here to help.
Why Choose Spanking Sex?
Spanking sex falls under the umbrella of BDSM, and seriously, you are far from alone if you desire to feel or provide bits of pain infliction during your sexual encounters. Spanking your partner is one of the simplest ways to adhere to any masochistic or sadist desires contained within, like an introductory class to a much broader subject.
If you feel pleasure from receiving pain, you might identify as the submissive and masochistic partner, thus relishing the pain and humiliation derived from a smack on the cheeks. Or, should you find more pleasure in providing your partner with the sensual sensation of spanking, this is the ideal way to allow yourself to feel and embody this element of your sexuality as a sadist.
Spanking sex greatly enhances sensation during our intimate moments, promoting sensuality through the sense of touch. Once you are a master of spanking sex, you will soon learn how to incorporate other forms of heightened sensation into your moments of pain-fueled bliss.
Chat it Up with your Partner
Before surprising an unknowing partner with a vigorous slap on the booty, you should absolutely, 100% talk about spanking sex with them before trying anything. Consent is absolutely vital, and having the talk allows you to set up much-needed boundaries before journeying down this path.
Simply bring this idea up to your partner, and explain why you would like to focus specifically on spanking during your next session under the sheets. If you don’t feel comfortable having this talk, then communication might lack during the experience, and this can lead to possible lines being crossed.
As you chat it up, come up with your plan. Address when you wish to explore this experience, how you wish to do so (based on the following tips below), and why. Just be yourself, utilize honesty and vulnerability to the greatest extent, and see if this is something your partner wants to explore with you!
Be Gentle as you Begin.
You don’t want to go all-in on your first (literal) hand. Spanking hurts, and although this hurt is exactly what we seek, it is best to gain comfort in this action.
How do you do this? Start with gentle spanks using your hands before progressing into spanking whips and paddles!
Keep a line of communication open as you do so, and have one partner rest on all fours as the other stands over them to deliver the first rounds of spanks. Think of this as a form of sensual foreplay to warm yourselves up to more to come.
As you deliver rounds of spanks, remember to always stick to the buttocks. Don’t spank areas of their body, such as their kidneys, that could lead to possible injury. Stick to the butt, and injury (other than a hand mark!) is pretty much entirely off the table.
As you continue spanking with your hand, engage in other forms of foreplay. Do this while you kiss, while one partner sits on the other, and as you continue to rip each other’s clothes off as things get heated. Rub their butt with your hand if you are the spanker, and tease them with a light flick of the wrist before fully engaging your arm into a powerful spanking motion. Work on your hand techniques by asking your partner what they like, and adjust based on their response accordingly. If you can talk your way through this experience, then you are entirely on the right track.
Whips, Paddles, Crops, and Toys.
If you two are feeling the burn and want to keep going, then there are many spanking sex toys to use at your disposal.
You will have to learn the intricacies of each, as different designs and materials offer varying sensations, and the best way to learn is to experiment safely!
Whips (also known as floggers) offer a more subtle touch to the skin with a slight sting as the leather strands caress the bare butt compared to the brunt end of a paddle. If you enjoy the feeling of leather, then a whip might be your first go-to of all spanking sex toys.
If you are simply all about the pain and have come to really enjoy the brute sensation of an aggressive smack, paddles provide hard surfaces and a wide surface area to really engage in strong and robust spanks on the cheeks.
A crop is somewhat of an in-between, as it provides a small leather surface area with the same flexibility as a flogger for a fast and twangy spank that surely leaves its mark. If you don’t know where to begin, then just start somewhere!
Talk to your partner to discover what they like about certain spanking sex toys, and build your collection if you both enjoy this process of experimentation to learn what all these toys are about.
Work Through Various Techniques.
As you experiment with spanking sex toys, you will also want to experiment with different and unique spanking techniques. There’s no one-size-fits-all rule for spanking sex, and you’ll learn to write your own rules as the experience moves on.
You might find that your partner likes singular, powerful spanks with force and power. Or maybe they prefer a round of consistent light spanks. Perhaps they like a closed hand over an open hand or vice versa. Do you spank the same area repeatedly to build the pain, or do you spread the paint out across the entirety of their red booty? These are all questions you will answer with time and experience.
The technique will also vary greatly when using spanking sex toys. You’ll have to learn how to master that flick of the wrist when using a flogger or to be gentle when using a heavier, metal paddle.
Again, we are all intrinsically personal in our likings when it comes to spanking sex, and the best way to ensure your technique is top-notch is to ensure your technique is one your partner enjoys.
Be Creative and Limitless.
For the best spanking sex, you need to succumb to your sexual creativity. You might find that you and your partner enjoy spanking best as a form of foreplay, and once you move into intimacy, you would rather focus on other areas of sensation. And that is perfect!
Or, you might find that you prefer the spanking to never stop!
Spanking during sex will offer a completely different sensation than spanking before sex, for example, and with this, you’ll have to learn what you like about both.
As you do so, why not think of utilizing other toys in conjunction with your spanking to enhance sensuality and sensation further? A spank sure does feel that much more erotic with nipple clamps firmly attached or with a vibrator held gently against a pulsing clitoris. For the males, the same goes, as cock rings and other accessories are waiting to showcase a never before known feeling of pleasure, both mentally and physically.
Spank with the clothes on, spank with them off. Spank in lingerie, spank fully naked. Spank to enhance orgasm denial, or spank as you humiliate your partner further with your words. Be dirty and talk to your partner as you deliver each blow, telling them all you plan to do to them and how bad they’ve been. Spank before sex, during sex, after sex.
There truly are no limits to spanking sex, and all you have to do is gain the underlying base of comfortability with this practice before learning the limitless nature of this erotically enticing act as you continue gaining experience and comfort with yourself, your partner, your toys, and your abilities.
You’ll never know until you try, so really… What are you waiting for?