Believe it or not, we men reel under the impression that tried and tested tricks that we play with our girls in bed can never run out of steam! Well, they might have worked for you till now, but make no mistake about it that sooner or later they all lose their charm.
That brings us to our theory for this article, which involves looking at your woman in a new way. And to do this, you must add a little more drama and even inculcate a bit of role playing tricks up your sleeve. They’re fun, spicy and, most of all, harmless.
Here’s how you can do it…
Use subtle hints to get her attention
It’s no secret that communication is the key to any relationship. At the first sign of boredom, whether it’s hers or yours, gently bring up new ways to spice up your sex life. Subtle hints like, “You would look absolutely gorgeous in something like that,” when you pass a lingerie/sex store or, “I’d like to put the cuffs on you tonight,” when you see a cop, are great ways to plant the first seeds of a healthy dose of role playing.
Though the trick is, if you come on too strong at first, there is a good chance you’ll come off as the creepy nympho guy and she’ll shoot the idea down before it even has a chance of getting off the ground. On the flip side, if you don’t come on strong enough, she might take your subtle hints as nothing more than everyday flirting. So, make sure that you strike the right balance in giving her the message.
Defusing any uneasiness with humour
There is a fine line between bringing your woman into the fantasy world of being someone else and telling her she is a boring lay. The best way to make the transition is to use humour. Using humour puts you in control of the situation in a way that is non-threatening to her.
The same applies in the beginning stages of role playing. Cracking a joke about what a weird request you have or how silly you feel for even thinking of such a thing is a great way to make your girlfriend feel comfortable about a situation she may initially feel uneasy about. What it also does is to allow you putting your idea in front of her, which you yourself might have hesitated at the first go.
Talk about her fantasies
Though men find it hard to follow, but for once, let’s forget our own world and its fantasies. Encourage her to live out a few of her own role-playing fantasies by going into sex shops together and having her pick out something for you. That way, you’ll make her feel like this plan is every bit her idea as it is yours.
Take the situation seriously
While cracking jokes and being funny may have gotten you to this point, it will only get you on the couch for the night if you break the mood and laugh at her. The goal is to make her feel comfortable and you can’t do that by making fun of how she looks, how she sounds or what she’s doing.
So much of role playing is about being in the right state of mind. It’s damn near impossible to get to the mental place you need to be if you think somebody is laughing at you or judging every move you make. If you take the situation seriously and show her some respect, she will do the same thing for you. If you don’t, you’ll be lucky to even get the ‘three minutes of missionary-style sex with the lights off’ ever again.
Deal with your own insecurities
It can be pretty stunning at first to see how much your woman can get into this. You’re bringing out a part of her you never thought you would see, her being with somebody else. It’s easy to get a little intimidated the first time you hear her moan and taking someone else’s name and not yours, but if you know how to conquer that insecurity, then trust us – you are in for one wild night. The key is to be confident and never forget that you’re the one getting her off, not anybody else.
Role playing is fantasy, it’s not real, and neither are your concerns about her being with someone else. So all you need to do is enjoy and live that moment that will only bring you memories that you can cherish for long.
– Sandeep Verma