The definition of a gentleman has evolved drastically over the last decade or so. Men of today are more experimental, men of today are more vulnerable, men of today are more sentimental, and men of today are not afraid to commit. Yes, you would say not all are that, but then not all women are gentlewomen either are they?
Let’s be reasonable here and accept the fact that men today are more willing to commit, care, love and realize their mistakes when the need of hour comes.
So, here is what we thing men look like in the year 2016 and beyond, and how being a gentleman (if you are not already one), is the best bet to entering into a healthy, fulfilling, passionate partnership with a woman. It may not always be peaceful, but it might just be what your are looking for.
Chivalry is king
Think Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge, Andy Garcia in When a Man Loves a Woman. Actions you can take today to be chivalrous: Open car doors, hold an entrance door open (run to get ahead of them if you have to), stand up when someone enters the room, give up your seat for a woman or an older person, if someone drops something, pick it up. Think courage, honor, justice, and a readiness to help.
Fight with words, not your hands
I have never been a guy who thinks that a men has got a right to raise his hand on a woman or abuse her verbally or mentally. You can never abuse them, you can never torture them and you can never think that you are a superior being than a woman – PERIOD!
Don’t be reactive, be proactive
A true gentleman uses wit and intellect to solve problems without violence. A true gentleman knows how to take a breath, take a step back, laugh in the face of anger and walk away. Women that like hotheaded men or “drama” aren’t worth the drama, so, if you’ve got a mate like that, walk away. Life is too short for drama and there are better things to do in life.
Realize the power of true aplogy. Realize its significance. Three words … “Please forgive me,” can move mountains. Keep in mind apologies only go so far. If you aren’t sincere and really don’t mean it, apologies won’t mean jack shit.
I realize some of you feel like you give all the time and never get anything in return. Remember, a true gentleman must have friends and partners who are willing to give as much of themselves as they do. Don’t settle for less than you are worth. What do I mean by give? Ask your friend or partner if there is anything you can do to help. Offer to do something they would usually do. If you have children, rally them and do something special for mom for no reason other than doing something special—don’t wait for Mother’s Day.
If you have ever read a Jane Austen novel or watched a Jane Austen movie, you’ll notice how the men walk with the women through the gardens talking and talking. Remember how it was when you first met that special person and you talked for hours and listened because you truly cared about what your mate had to say? Listen. Even if it’s boring, even if you don’t know where it’s going, even if you think talking will never cease.
A true gentleman, is not only a lover, but a son, father and a brother too. So be one now!
– Sandeep Verma