You are ready to move into your partner’s apartment lock, stock and barrel. Something you have been dreaming for over half a decade. Cohabitation is highly recommended before tying the knot but please do not think it is a cakewalk, it is far from it. Moving in with your girlfriend with all your possessions will be a life changing experience and may require more adjustment than marriage. While in marriage you’d be prepared to take up the good with the bad and one’s share of responsibilities, in a live-in arrangement one does not readily accept the adjustments that come in with such a relationship.
There are plenty of good reasons for shacking up with your girlfriend, but there are also many things that may turn unpleasant if not taken care of. Here are some myths that we need to break, right here and now, here’s how:
Bringing together your possessions
You have moved in with your favourite curios and art work. Your favourite retro boy band poster and the wall hangings have, of course, an integral part of you. Disclaimer: This may not quite make the cut. Bringing in your television is letting loose disaster as your beloved would think that you have got your own television set to watch your favourite channel 24×7. The sweet myths of co-existing with each other’s belongings is exactly that – a myth! Keep the storm at bay by telling her a few favourite things that must accompany you and she may withstand that.
Your friends are mine too
You cannot have your wild boy nights pubbing around and getting home at wee hours of morning, hoping that your lady love will greet you with open arms. Your Sunday afternoon watching football with your friends, with a crate of chilled beers may well be replaced by a quaint afternoon lunch in her favourite joint. Adhoc visits should be accompanied by call-aheads, else there may be hell to pay for. So while friends are important, keep a sensible balance in order to work out your live in relationship.
Live-in maid myth
You may be trying hard to please but please understand somethings just come naturally to the fairer sex. You have dusted your corner of the desk but mopping, cleaning and sweeping is definitely not second nature to her, unlike you. You will be expected to do your share of chores and running errands and pick up after yourself. And if something didn’t go as per her instructional manual, you know, that shouldn’t happen. Your girlfriend is not a live-in maid. The earlier that sinks in the better it will be for you.
Yes, no doubt there would be two incomes coming in now, but there still won’t be enough disposable income for your gadgets and iTunes and things that you have been fantasising about. For the sake of your relationship, you may have moved into a slightly bigger apartment than the bachelor pad that you were living in, which means you would have to pay a higher rent. Also there would be a change in lifestyle as you would be eating home more often than not and the fridge would be more stocked up than your fridge from your bachelor days. Income and expenses would even out and while you were hoping to have some more to splurge it may be far from the truth.
Your sexual dreams are on wheels and running wild. You hope to catch her in one of her flimsy lingerie or her cute panties. Or is it that you are hoping your girlfriend would be wearing knee high boots and nothing else, squandering around doing house work? Wrong. After a hard day’s work she prefers to wear her snug yoga pants or a pair of cotton shorts. She would be sans makeup and have puffy eyes, but hey remember you liked her for her personality….right?
While we do not want to completely discourage you to pack your bags and move in with your beloved but, be realistic as the ride will have its share of jerks and bumps, though eventually it may be a fascinating journey.